Oh grow up........

Following the problem with my vision and my stay in hospital, it appears that one of the nerves at the back of my eyes has twanged. A bit like the elastic on a thong I suppose.

However, following the scans I can now say that I have had my brain checked and it`s normal so what`s your excuse?!

Today I had an appointment with an eye specialist and the appointment letter read "Eye Re-education". 

 I was quite intrigued as to what would be happening. Would my eyes need a school bag and a pencil case? Would my eyes have to sit an exam? Would they have to wear those big blue school knickers with a pocket in and perform exercises on those rubber mats in the school hall? ( What? you didn`t have to wear those big knickers? Okay well it was the early 1960s I suppose)

We arrived early at the "cabinet medical" and I was not encouraged to see the state of the carpet on the steps up to the doctors office. Carpet as dangerous as this with people having sight problems? But hey ho I carried on regardless.

My appointment was for 11am and I was called in to see the doctor at 11.30 but "c`est la vie" here in France and nothing is rushed or ever on time.

Madame the specialist was very mysterious and after a quick form filling off we went with eye school. I had to sit on a chair in a corner - not a good start and I hadn`t even misbehaved.

Then the fun started. Madame pulled her chair close directly in front of me and held up a glass "wand" with a little red light on the end. I smiled pleasantly as she started to move it from side to side and I had to follow it with my eyes.

The waving became more and more furious and my eyes darted here and there.

You know at those times when you shouldn`t laugh and you know full well you shouldn`t, but then it`s worse because you have to try and stop yourself? Well this was it...because it struck me that she looked like a character from Harry Potter and I imagined her shouting "Expelliarmus" or "Wingardium Leviosa"!.

I just smirked and sat there with an idiot grin from ear to ear trying to keep composed. I tried thinking of other things but it simply would not work and I could see that she thought I was demented. I just sat and smirked.

Following a session of looking into a machine and saying if I saw one cat in a cage or two palm trees on an island, I was fleeced to the tune of 26 euros and ejected down the dangerous stairs of hell and into the street.

There are five things I have learned from today`s experience:

1. Grow up you are not 10 years of age.

2. The eye doctor had hairy armpits

3. The cat was not in fact in the cage but was sitting to the right and until he gets in the cage I shall have to be re-educated every week.

4. Someone has actually taken the trouble to build a website listing all the spells and their uses from the Harry Potter films.

5.The spell "Engorgio " makes things bigger.....saving this for later.

A la prochaine mes belles
xx