jeudi 4 août 2011
Madame..... "je vous pique" !!
Well............... if there are four words I have come to hate within the last week or so they are written above!!! Heard at 7am every morning for the last eight days - and immediately followed by having a huge injection into my thigh!!! As you will have read from an earlier blog, I had gone into hospital to have my gallbladder removed.
What had been planned as a 2-day hospital stay actually turned out to be 9-day stay when it was discovered whilst I was 'on the table' that three stones with wanderlust had escaped from the gallbladder and had tripped off down into the unknown below; and the resulting blockage certainly caused the pain I had been experiencing! What little pioneers they really were!!!
The day before I entered the hospital a good friend had told me there was no need to put myself through surgery at all; instead I could choose the self-help option and have a natural "gallbladder flush". From my research on the internet this apparently involved drinking copious amounts of olive oil mixed with a similar large quantities of apple and lemon juice. Somehow, surgery seemed a better option!!!
I had actually bought seven new pairs of pyjamas for my stay - just to be on the safe side and, as it turned out a good idea. Well, I do have my reputation to think of as well you know! So I duly set off very well coiffed, toenails painted beautifully - and my lady garden trimmed into the shape of a French bulldog to amuse the surgeon. ( I am joking about the last part actually!!!.................it was a Paris poodle.....no, that`s a lie too!!)
Within one hour of arriving I had lost the nail polish, the bulldog had been forceably removed by a trainee nurse - and I had had to wash myself from head to toe ( including my newly coiffed hair!) in a bright yellow antiseptic wash!!!
Whilst pacing the floor in my room waiting for my pre-med before being taken off to theatre (or "Le Bloc" as it was called) I told Mark I wished I had actually drunk the olive oil. I did also consider knotting the bed sheets to climb out of that third floor window. I am that much a major coward of the first order!!!!
So....eventually off I went (duly drugged up with my pre-op medication) - and woke up much, much later in a private recovery suite, vaguely hearing that the op had been more complicated than expected. I didn`t care at all at the time - and ran every emotion possible due to the anaesthetic which apparently involved tears, laughter and me hurling disgusting swear words like a fish wife at my family who were watching me!!!! I am of course not being allowed to forget that one!!
Recovery was SO boring - and if I hadn`t had a portable dvd kindly loaned to me by a friend I would have gone absolutely crazy. I have watched so many films you would not believe, and I have discovered that the dvds sent by friends says an awful lot about them!!! I adored "Girl with the pearl earring"...."Vanilla Sky"..(excuse me what was all that about?).....and I was caught by a nurse watching the cartoon "Bee Movie" out of total boredom!!! I did have a very nice fat ginger cat pass my window at 10pm each night - and really sad as it was he who was the highlight of my day!!
One night as I lay in my bed half drugged and half asleep Tartlette called from Oregon so I could help her decide if her bay window have linen sheet curtains or vintage muslin!!! She is not too big to go over my knee!!!!
SO here I am - 8 days later and home at last. Digger went loop the loop ( as I knew he would) when I got out of the car, and is now refusing to leave my side at all. And I still have a very exciting pipe in my stomach with a plug sticking out which, I hope, shall be removed when I return to see the surgeon in a week's time. You know that man with the octopus face in Pirates of the Carribean? ...well it looks like that!!!
Digger is going to have to get used to seeing the nurse arrive here every morning for the next 8 days.
There is a big brocante this coming Sunday and I am going to try and creep out to it if Mark does not put a stop to my gallop. So............... if you want exciting finds next week don`t expect anything I found truffling on the floor; it will only be 'waist high' treasures this weekend!
So the boxing ring is set .......... in the blue corner.... Simply Chateau............ and in the red corner...a nearby Sunday brocante. Shake hands, no biting, no spitting, no pinching, no gouging - and no swearing ( though cannot guarantee this one after my time in the recovery room earlier in the week!), Queensbury rules, no kicking, no punching below the belt, snatching, poking or scratching!
LET THE BROCANTING BEGIN!!!!!
Nice to be back at the chateau, mes belles!!!