Oh heavens...the soap box is out again!

I had an email yesterday from a lady who I have never met or had any dealings with.  In essence, she suggested that, after buying a batch of antique textiles, it would be much better if I washed, pressed, starched and hand repaired them all before listing them to sell - and she scolded me for not doing it!

With that in mind I suppose this is her idea as to how my day would pan out.....................



I woke up gently at 11am to find a cup of steaming coffee and a freshly baked croissant amande at my bedside. I took a long luxurious bubble bath, took my time to choose what I would wear, fixed my hair and make up and made my way downstairs.

 Waiting for me in the salon were two people carrying bags full of wonderful 18th and 19th century textiles and treasures to sell to me. They had already laid them out for me to examine so I simply walked along the line and made my choice.

After they had gone I took a stroll in the garden with Sir Digbert Fanshaw Brownshaw and Charles Le Baron du Breuil . Oh... how we laughed and skipped through the rose beds in the warm sunshine.

 Two more sellers arrived a little later in the day, again with divine treasures for me to gently sort through - and then my buying was done for the day. 

I spent the rest of the afternoon being cooled by two servants holding huge ostrich-plumed fans whilst Mark relaxed playing the harpsicord and violin. Around me a team of servants washed, repaired and pressed my purchases. 

 I was carried to supper in a gilded sedan chair and then went to bed by candle light, but not before checking into the office to ensure that my two assistants were busy photographing my new purchases and preparing my Ebay listings for the following morning. What a divine dreamy day it had been.

This is really what happened.......................................


The alarm went off at 4.30am and I dragged myself from  under the covers. Digbert Fanshaw Brownshaw didn`t even open his eyes as I stumbled to the bathroom climbing into my jeans and loafers as I went. I brushed my teeth with my eyes still closed, threw a comb through my hair ( well the front anyway!) and went down into the cold kitchen.

Throwing on my coat,I grabbed the car keys , a torch and my 'buying' bag. I stepped out into the freezing cold and walked down the drive towards the car, flinching to avoid the bats which were still flying around. I realised as soon as got into the car that I had my sweater on back to front - but there was no time to sort it out now! I drove 50 miles or so through pitch black lanes and  badly-lit roads until I reached  the flea market where I spent  the next two hours walking amongst the stalls, searching by torchlight and fighting with the other dealers to see what could be found.


 I spotted an old trunk being thrown down to the ground from the back of a lorry. Half open, I could see it contained some old textiles - so I began to rummage through whilst holding my torch under my arm. I came out of that trunk much dirtier than I went in but I was clutching a couple of finds.  It was after 8 before I went into the local cafe for my first coffee of the day - but  I couldn't stay long as I had to get back on the road towards  my way to the next flea market  - and repeat the whole process again.


I got home after noon looking like I had slept the previous night at the back of a supermarche amongst the bins. Once the car was unloaded I immediately went into 'listing' mode - and spent the entire afternoon photographing and describing my finds.


So,....  Madame Wells now can climb onto her shabby chic Gustavian grey soap box and, to that rather ignorant lady, say the following.........


"No, Madam - excuse me. But I simply do not have the time to do as you suggest. I always sell my treasures just as they come through the door and, what's more, that`s how my buyers like them!"




At which point Madame Wells got down from her soap box mounted her ostrich and rode away into the sunset.............. 

(after which she had 120 macaroons and an eclair whilst being fanned by Johnny Depp in his passementerie- trimmed thong!)


A demain mes belles!!!