samedi 12 novembre 2011

Oh heavens...the soap box is out again!

I had an email yesterday from a lady who I have never met or had any dealings with.  In essence, she suggested that, after buying a batch of antique textiles, it would be much better if I washed, pressed, starched and hand repaired them all before listing them to sell - and she scolded me for not doing it!

With that in mind I suppose this is her idea as to how my day would pan out.....................

I woke up gently at 11am to find a cup of steaming coffee and a freshly baked croissant amande at my bedside. I took a long luxurious bubble bath, took my time to choose what I would wear, fixed my hair and make up and made my way downstairs.

 Waiting for me in the salon were two people carrying bags full of wonderful 18th and 19th century textiles and treasures to sell to me. They had already laid them out for me to examine so I simply walked along the line and made my choice.

After they had gone I took a stroll in the garden with Sir Digbert Fanshaw Brownshaw and Charles Le Baron du Breuil . Oh... how we laughed and skipped through the rose beds in the warm sunshine.

 Two more sellers arrived a little later in the day, again with divine treasures for me to gently sort through - and then my buying was done for the day. 

I spent the rest of the afternoon being cooled by two servants holding huge ostrich-plumed fans whilst Mark relaxed playing the harpsicord and violin. Around me a team of servants washed, repaired and pressed my purchases. 

 I was carried to supper in a gilded sedan chair and then went to bed by candle light, but not before checking into the office to ensure that my two assistants were busy photographing my new purchases and preparing my Ebay listings for the following morning. What a divine dreamy day it had been.

This is really what happened.......................................

The alarm went off at 4.30am and I dragged myself from  under the covers. Digbert Fanshaw Brownshaw didn`t even open his eyes as I stumbled to the bathroom climbing into my jeans and loafers as I went. I brushed my teeth with my eyes still closed, threw a comb through my hair ( well the front anyway!) and went down into the cold kitchen.

Throwing on my coat,I grabbed the car keys , a torch and my 'buying' bag. I stepped out into the freezing cold and walked down the drive towards the car, flinching to avoid the bats which were still flying around. I realised as soon as got into the car that I had my sweater on back to front - but there was no time to sort it out now! I drove 50 miles or so through pitch black lanes and  badly-lit roads until I reached  the flea market where I spent  the next two hours walking amongst the stalls, searching by torchlight and fighting with the other dealers to see what could be found.

 I spotted an old trunk being thrown down to the ground from the back of a lorry. Half open, I could see it contained some old textiles - so I began to rummage through whilst holding my torch under my arm. I came out of that trunk much dirtier than I went in but I was clutching a couple of finds.  It was after 8 before I went into the local cafe for my first coffee of the day - but  I couldn't stay long as I had to get back on the road towards  my way to the next flea market  - and repeat the whole process again.

I got home after noon looking like I had slept the previous night at the back of a supermarche amongst the bins. Once the car was unloaded I immediately went into 'listing' mode - and spent the entire afternoon photographing and describing my finds.

So,....  Madame Wells now can climb onto her shabby chic Gustavian grey soap box and, to that rather ignorant lady, say the following.........

"No, Madam - excuse me. But I simply do not have the time to do as you suggest. I always sell my treasures just as they come through the door and, what's more, that`s how my buyers like them!"

At which point Madame Wells got down from her soap box mounted her ostrich and rode away into the sunset.............. 

(after which she had 120 macaroons and an eclair whilst being fanned by Johnny Depp in his passementerie- trimmed thong!)

A demain mes belles!!!

17 commentaires:

  1. Ha yes! if we wanted them fresh washed ironed and perfect we could buy our fabric new from some retail store, no thank you.......I do wonder sometimes...Lovely post xxxx

  2. Bravo - Good for you! I love it. I have customers like that, as well. Seriously, some people are never happy, no matter what.

    I love this post and salute you for speaking your mind, very politely, to her.

  3. Go girl go !!!
    my favourite Blog and one of my favourite people xxxxx

  4. Tres bonne madame! (excuse my French!) Some folk just don't have any idea. No heart or romantic sensibility. Merde! Ann x

  5. LOL Did you send her a link to your blog??? ;)

  6. LOL! This is so funny, yet so true. There are always those "darlings" who feel that they are entitled to tell you how you should live your life. You handled that most gracefully. And let off a little steam via the blog which we all got to enjoy.

    Merci for all that you do!

  7. Well done! fab rant! I often get similar comments and i think of all those 4 am alarm calls and hours in the van...not forgetting knackering overnight ferry trips. A lady at Shepton today looked apoplectic when I told her the price on some beautiful french school picture stamps that I had trudged miles to find in the summer.. a fiver each.. not expensive when you compare to mass produced modern ones! Lizzie x

  8. Oh you crack me up..what a greats start to my morning!!!....some people will never 'get it' Kay

  9. That really touched a nerve!

    I have had a 'customer' sending messages for weeks now saying 'I really want that item, it would be perfect for my home, it is exactly the right thing but I don't want to pay that much for it', they are still sending messages despite the fact that someone else has happily paid the asking price!

    Your original scenario could become my retirment plan!

  10. Thank you all for your comments! I actually feel quite normal now!!!

  11. TOUCHÉ My dear! My mother would call that kind of strumpet a "RAT BAG"!!!!
    Now back to work with you, you slacker!!!

  12. Thank you. I needed a laugh. If you let anyone tell you how to do something, they will expect to be able to run your whole life - as long as it makes things better for them. Sorry, I'll stop complaining now. Loving your blog.

  13. Oh Di!!! I love that word STRUMPET!!!! Must find a way to use it in my auction descriptions!!!

  14. What?!! You mean that isn't your life?!!! ;-)

  15. LOL! Nice one, Shirley (I followed a link from Liz van H).