The Friday afternoon interview with myself.......

Well bonjour Madame Wells how kind of you to allow me to interview myself. Just a few questions so that people can get to know the "real" madame at the chateau.


Me : Firstly why have you never allowed a photograph of yourself on your blog as most of us have no idea what you look like?

Madame wells : Well I really don`t want to scare anyone away and once I delivered a piece of furniture to an Ebay buyer and she gushed forth with " Wow...you look nothing like I expected you to!". I never asked her if I was better or worse that she expected and have always wondered about it since! Did she think I would wear a bonnet and bustle and have a basket of flowers?


Me : What do you feel is your greatest ambition?

Madame Wells : I would like to know what it feels like to tuck a tea shirt into my jeans and spend the day normally without having to hold my breath until I turn blue.

Me: What did you want to be when you left school and do you still long to do it?

Madame Wells: I wanted to be an air hostess. I can think of nothing worse now that walking up and down the aisle of a plane in nasty court shoes handing out peanuts and smiling.

Me: Where will you be this time next week?

Madame Wells: On the catwalk in Milan standing in for Naomi Campbell who has a cold. They will have to take the dresses in though as they will hang off me.


Me: When was the last time you told a lie?

Madame Wells ; See previous question.

Me; What are you reading at the moment?

Madame Wells: A wonderful book about Casanova`s women. No....it`s not filth....it details the high class Countesses and Ladies he managed to seduce and the effect he had on their lives.

Me: Where is your favourite place to read? In bed?

Madame Wells : Always in the bath and I can be gone for hours. I have been known to emerge like a wrinkled prune and once dropped Jilly Cooper`s "Riders" in the bath which ended up about 2 feet wide when it dried!

Me: What was the item from your truffling days that you regret selling most?

Madame Wells: A set of tiny 19th century hand made silk lampshades with the most wonderful hand-painted vignettes of Marie Antoinette. Each vignette signed and each one different. Why did I sell them? I shall never know!

Me: Your daughter Miss Frou Frou seems to be a  "chip off the old block"  or shall we say a "tassel off the old curtain"?

Madame Wells ; Firstly less of the "old"!  Worryingly she has a very good eye and can run faster than me at the brocante. However, at the moment I have a free reign as she has become obsessed with her new passion of goat keeping. ( honestly!) Three dwarf goats have appeared in her garden and she has become Heidi of the mountains. She may grow plaits and have leather lederhosen soon. Even more worrying is that I believe one of the said goats has been named after me.

Me: If it was a choice between long lingering kiss with Johnny Depp or the last chocolat in the patisserie what would it be?

 Madame Wells - No competition. Definitely the chocolat. Sorry Johnny.

Me:  What would you love to find at the brocante this weekend?

Madame Wells: A huge pair of carved giltwood 18th century angel wings.

Me: What was the last telephone call you answered?

Madame Wells: At 4am this morning I answered the phone to George Clooney he was sobbing again begging me to live with him in his Italian villa.

Me : Back to the question about the last time you told a lie?

Madame Wells flounced out of the room..................

Bonne weekend mes belles

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx