dimanche 21 février 2010

Letter to myself..............

Dear Shirley,
Stick to brocanting and leave the cooking to the professionals........................
Love from Me.
The recipe said........Roasted Mediterranean Monkfish with Pesto Trapanes and this is what happened.......................
RECIPE- Lightly toast 125g sliced almonds
ME- put almonds in pan...burned them...threw them away. Roasted more and left to cool.
RECIPE- Finely chop 2 garlic cloves
ME- chopped garlic cloves, ate all of the almonds whilst I chopped. Roasted more almonds and immediately mixed them in with the raw chopped garlic to stop me eating them again.
RECIPE- Take 50g fresh basil leaves
ME- Go to basil plant on windowsill and discovered that Charles le Baron du Breuil had been there first and ravaged the plant. Just a few leaves left so I strip the remaining stalk and leave it alone and naked!
RECIPE- Put garlic, almonds, basil,1 tablespoon of sugar, salt & pepper and a good slurp of virgin olive oil into blender and blend till smooth.
ME- put all ingredients into the tall thin mixing container that comes with the hand blender. Took new mill of black pepper and try to season but nothing happens. Tried again but still no pepper. Turned mill over and realised the silver protective paper was still in place. Removed this and got showered with ground pepper. Put hand blender into the container, prop tall blender container on table and go to wash pepper from hands. Container falls over spilling contents so have to mop it all up then blend!
RECIPE- Add 3 large ripe chopped tomatoes and blend lightly.
ME- Blend all and it goes quite thick and very gloopy. Not sure if this is normal but continue anyway.
RECIPE- Roast 2 large red peppers.
ME- Put 2 red peppers in the old aga to roast.
RECIPE- Take 2 x 400g monkfish tails, put one on base, layer with roasted pepper and the pesto mix , place other tail on the top and tie with string to keep in place.
ME- have no fish so use chicken breasts to fill with the pesto. All fine until the tying of string and I tie too tight and all the filling pours out of the sides. Spent the next 5 mins trying to poke pesto back inside the chicken parcels as my knots are too tight to undo!
RECIPE- Place fish onto a bed of chopped vegetables, liberally sprinkle with oil, season and roast.
ME- Chop veg, {but missed and cut finger) Put on band aid plaster. As I have too much pesto mix pour it all over the chicken breasts. Roast.
What can I say? It was amazing, stunning, totally delicious! I am Madame Raymond Le Blanc, I am Madame Christoff Nouvelli, I am Madame Roux, I am Shirley Nigella Lawson in the pantry with a film crew in an uncreased black silk nightdress supposedly having just woke up in the middle of the night to have a snack even though I have full make up on and luscious lips!
Finish the meal with coffee.....................divine.
Smell burning! Go to kitchen but cannot locate source of burning. Got a little panicky. Followed my nose to the old range cooker – and found the roasted red peppers I forgot to put in the chcken burned to a crisp and on fire.
I am not Madame Le Blanc or Nouvelli or Roux. I am Nigella in the pantry in a creased nightie with bed-head hair, panda eyes due to last night’s mascara with my nightie tucked into the back of my pants.........
Perhaps this is why I chose to be a brocanteuse and not a chef!!!

1 commentaire:

  1. Hilarious post! Sounds like my own attempts. Do you think we may be twins separated at birth? Sue